Freedom Friday: Are we Laughing?

Lighten up, it's Friday! I know we all get caught up in our daily lives and may get consumed with stresses of the Material. How often we get distracted or lose sight of what we're here to accomplish in the first place? Our purpose transcends every possibility to succumb to the opposition that surrounds us. Are you feeling opposed? Are we carrying the load? Are we doing what we've been told?

"Happy are those that inherit the Kingdom of God" and another quote that comes to mind is "You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans." When the plans of others interfere with your greatest Intentions, Laugh! When we smile in the face of adversity we take the power of which that seeks to conquer us. Have you ever wondered why Laughing is contagious? It's your Spirit's reminder that nothing is too heavy to move. No worries to heavy to bear. No dissappointment too heavy to forgive. No challenge too heavy to overcome.

Yesterday, I read an enlightening blog entry about humor, I have to say it was an eloquent tribute to Japanese culture. The blog, "Mysterious Laughter", highlights Anne Thomas', experiences in Tokyo in the realms of funny moments.

She beautifully illustrates how during her presentation in Art class she was so embarassed by her stumbling attempts to communicate the message of her piece in Japanese(and the fact that her painting was far from great) she was flushed red. She couldn't possibly understand how in an awkward moment her fellow "energetic" classmate, who presented after her, was able to laugh at himself during his presentation. The whole class began to laugh with him. Anne learns that the Japanese laugh with you and not at you for they too have been embarassed and can relate to nervousness.

Interestingly enough, mystery births the greatest questions. The Japanese live a life of humility on their path to Greatness. So they often demean the dearest people to them in the interest of not putting themselves or their family above anyone else. Anne found this hilarious at first, but she soon discovered that it is a reflection of their humble culture. Although she continues to laugh, she finds a Greater understanding of this "mystery" of Japanese culture from....the Japanese proverb....

"The heavier the stalk the lower the bow." Here, the stalk is of rice. The more grains it produces the more it will feed. The more fed the Greater it {the Stalk} becomes. The Greater you are, in their culture, the more humble you must be. It's when we are reminded that we are more similar than we are different, our laughter takes on a meaning of its own.

We discover, as Anne in Tokyo has, there is so much to learn from one another. Are we open? Are we bounded by our self pity? Are we made to be victims or are we a cure for the symptom? Are we moving in Faith? Are we sowing?

If and when we do.......Are we Laughing?

Epically You

I usually write in retrospect, but today I found inspiration in an email sent by my Mother. You know, those forwards that we send to our entire address book or, if you're like me, you send to a select few who are an inspiration to you. Below is what I found in the email:

Anger is not worth the price you pay for it. Transform it, instead, into positive resolve.
Despair will only keep you stuck where you are. Choose to exchange it for a good dose of inspiration.
Arrogance will cut you off from the world. Cast it away and replace it with generosity and enthusiasm.
Impatience only brings you mistakes and frustration. Let it go, and let peaceful purpose take its place.
For every burden of your own creation, there is an alternative that will lift you up. When you feel yourself being dragged down by the attitude you have chosen, let that be a reminder to choose a more positive approach.
You are in control of the way you look at life. And the way you look at life surely and inevitably determines the way your life will be.
~ Ralph Marston

I believe that these words are great in Truth, but they are even greater still in Purpose. Most would think that Ralph Marston was a great orator of the 19th century or a world renown Spiritual guru with a reputation that supercedes his carnal ability. He's simply a man in his mid fifties living in Austin Texas as a Husband, Father, Son dedicated to personal development and the creator of The Daily Motivator.

Over 14 years ago, he began updating one of his websites with his messages of motivation, encouragement and inspiration. After garnering a significant following and publishing two collections of his messages, The Daily Motivator was born. From there, his work took on a life of its own affording him financial, personal and Spiritual freedom that only derives from taking a risk to do what you do best. To be you...

What do you do best? When are you at your best? Where do you find your best? How can you make your best, better still ?

I believe in Ralph Marston's story we learn that the only thing that we shall supercede are.....our Limitations....

Visit The Daily Motivator at www.greatday.com/

In Freedom Lies Responsibility

I've been having loads of fun sharing in "Spiritual" studies with different people of different beliefs in different spaces on their Spiritual path. Learning from them all, reminds me of Jesus' reference to the "pure at Heart" who shall inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.

What does it mean to be "pure at Heart?" How do we measure this purity? Once pure, what next? When you stumble upon Truth and receive the things that God gives us freely. It's euphoric! You begin to feel all the questions of your Mind being answered by the voice of your Heart. Your inner conflictions begin to fade for you are certain that your next step is moving in Divine Direction. It's Love!

In Love, all things are possible and all things are revealed in their proper time. However, once we are "pure at Heart" the work really begins. We were never promised a quiet, conflict free journey in Spirit and Truth. To those on the outside looking in, your journey may not seem worth the battle. Negative energy will seep in to take up space in your Mind to disrupt the communication with the Heart. Various weapons seek to appeal to your weaknesses causing you to forget you are wrapped in His loving grace. Questions that have yet to be answered make you second guess what you thought you were certain of.

We must be tested and our Faith must grow or our Works are dead, simply Lifeless. To gain Life, we must reach back and feel the same Love we felt when we first started out. Pull from the untainted Energy that gave us our start. Place first, a discovery of gifts that make us indispensable in our service of others. Begin with finding purpose in Divine Love.

Are you feeling unfulfilled in your career or burned out from the demands of Parenting or depressed about your deferred Dreams? It may be time to listen to your Heart, restore its pureness and trailblaze full speed ahead in Love.....

Acheiving Greatness: Change is Ever Changing

The one thing that is absolutely constant is Change. At one point or another, we are all forced to come to terms with this Change. Allow me to highlight some of the most impressive ways to improvise.......

Barack Obama, with his declining support and backing for Healthcare Reform, steps it up a notch and stays the course reminding us all that although we may have to tailor our approach we should never lose sit eof our cause....check it out....www.politico.com/news/stories/0709/25163.html

Trita Parsi introduces us to an Iranian prisoner that has a shockingly heartbreaking story, yet he is remembered for his optimism in our ever "changing" times.....Nice to meet you Bijan Khajehpour....it is with great pleasure that I introduce him to you....www.huffingtonpost.com/trita-parsi/where-is-bijan-khajepour_b_241047.html

Why don't we give peace a chance? Deepak Chopra gives us a timely view on what it means to be a superpower post the fall of the Soviet Union......let's consider a different approach....the US as trendsetters.....www.huffingtonpost.com/deepak-chopra/can-we-stop-being-a-super_b_241254.html

When we think of the Children as our Future, I would like to remember the stellar examples of the children of CDF Freedom School, read how they lead the way in Social Action for Child Healthcare Reform.....www.huffingtonpost.com/.../children-demand-real-chil_b_240979.html

Which leads me to my fellow Parents, who are Raising children in an ever changing World.....join me in doing a self check.....after all we are our children's first heros.....be encouraged.......www.intent.com/arianedebonvoison/blog/parenting-kids-through-times-change

Whatever the changes may be; we all have to reassess, regroup and reveal our Greatness....

Freedom Friday: Sunday Spent on the Lake

Last Sunday, the family and I spent the day on Lake Alatoona at Red Top Mountain State Park outside of Atlanta, GA.

It's been almost five years since I've been on the lake. My husband, a Boston native, misses everything about the Lake: Water sports, fresh fish and beautiful lakehouses. Needless to say, we all needed this adventure. My 20 month old, Saadia was amazingly well behaved and cried only once in the seven hours we spent on the boat. We spent the afternoon swimming, tubing, wakeboarding and sightseeing. It was absoulutely beautiful!

Five years ago, I had absolutely no appreciation for water sports, and I would have been content with crusing and taking in the scenery. With rain pouring down on us, we pushed the boat to its speed limit just to have the wind be kind to us. Sport Boating, what fun?!

While tubing, I watched the clouds move and the sun peeked through the darkness to smile down on us. Giving us a second run at our water adventure after four hours of non stop activity. We couldn't get enough, we didn't have enough, we needed more. Repitition, how childlike?!

It's funny how at different points in your life, your perspective of what "fun" and "exciting" is begins to shift. The experiences we take for granted when the World is our "playground." I have to say, we made the best of it; Mother Nature would be proud.

At the end of our trip, I cried tears of Joy for quality time with family and having the chance to spend the day on the Lake.

Here's to broadening my horizons.......and.....

Spending the rest of the summer......

Doing things I've never done before......with.....

Eyes that's never seen before.......

That's Freedom.....

The Dark Side of In Vitro Fertilization

Maria del Carmen Bousada, a Spanish Senior citizen, died Saturday at 69 from complications associated with a cancerous tumor. This may sound like the average words found in your local obituary. Sadly enough, the plot thickens....

Three years ago, shortly after losing her mother, Maria decided that she wanted to be a mother. After undergoing hormonal treatment at Pacific Fertility Clinic in Los Angeles, she gave birth to twin boys in December of 2006. She falsified documents that led the clinic to believe that she was 55, the maximum age for an In-Vitro patient.

The twin boys, now 2, are without a Mother, was never given the chance at having a Father and will be raised by an Uncle that was forced to sell their story to a Spanish newspaper to provide for them. Maria's sole desire to have children came with a heavy price for her boys, Pau and Christian.

They are too young to understand what has taken place, but as they grow older the decisions their mother made will surely have an impact on them. Why do we have children? Are we thinking about what's best for them? Have we considered the sacrifice we make in the name of "wanting to be a mother?" Are we selfish? Are our children simply "an accomplishment?'

This story, although not similar in every way, reminds me of Nadya Suleman, the American woman who gave birth to octuplets earlier this year. Already a Mother of six, her doctor implanted eight embryos during In-Vitro fertilization. All eight babies were alive at birth, but they obviously needed to spend time in NICU. As a single mother, how could she afford the medical bills let alone the costs to raise 14 children? No wonder she was signing a contract with a publicist before she left the hospital. Book deals and television shows could definitely help her sponsor her children.

In Vitro, if used by Mothers who are prepared for the journey of Motherhood, is a wonderful medical advancement for women who are reproductively challenged. However, like anything else, when it is abused; things can go awfully wrong.

The children are the ones who suffer.....

As the Doctors keep cashing their checks......

In the words of the late, great Marvin Gaye...."Save the Babies..."

Social Media: A Tribute to Freedom of Speech

Here ye! Here ye! Here ye lies the most corrupt, biased, sensored "news" source known to man: Mainstream Media!

As dusk turns into dawn, as winter proceeds spring, as death gives way to Life, we celebrate a shift in what it means to be an "eyewitness" to historical events from Hong Kong to Honolulu. Social media, although controversial, is a force to be reckoned with. So much so that the Iranian government disabled all social networking sites and world wide web activity to prohibit access to the real time developments of the Iranian protests.

As an amateur poker player plays it safe, the Chinese followed suit by shutting down mobile phones, Internet, blocked Twitter and their native equivalent, Fanfou during the riots in Xinjiang. In the interest of giving true journalists a chance to give us more of the same "fair, balanced and objective' news we've come to take as a joke. The latest developments in this media "war" is indicative of how much control we truly have. Citizen journalists have come to take our power back from the governments we entrusted it to. Some things need structure and rules of engagement; our Voices aren't one of them.

While watching Additional Scenes of Corpse Bride with my daughter, I learned that the movie's setting was loosely inspired by the Victorian Era. During this time period, the news source was a single announcer who literally yelled the latest developments handed down to him by word of mouth in the village while ringing a bell. Undoubtedly, news travels fast and today we have the blessing and curse of images that can be altered, manipulated and falsely narrated. Yet, there is something pure and quite simple we can learn take from the Victorian era: Less is More.

Alas, there is hope for media after all. Simply typing 140 characters and providing a link to a video or picture capturing real time footage is all the news we need. Social media sheds new light on " A picture is worth a thousand words" and grants millions of us the Freedom of Speech to state our opinions, debate over the nature of events and a chance to make history whether you are a citizen of Beijing or Freedom Fighter of Tehran.

All good things surely must come to an end......

I think we've had enough........Stop the "Press!"

Bigger than Myself?

After many sleepless nights and feeling an indescribable sensation tugging at my Soul, I realize that I need to be apart of a Movement. I want to work with a group of like minded individuals in pursuit of a greater cause....an even Grander existence. As much joy as my daughter gives me, I know that I am not half the Mother I aim to be...... that I will be..... once I come to live my Divine purpose. This is a process I know, but I am overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities this discovery will bring.

Actually, my daughter is the source of my motivation. From my journey, I hope she learns that all things are possible, to never be afraid of Self Discovery and always stay true to her inner voice. As cliche as my wishes are for my daughter, these are the greatest challenges of our lives. It's difficult to put in practice, but once developed Life takes on a new meaning. You begin to see things through a new set of eyes. Herein lies the power of positioning oneself to give an exclusive contribution to the World.

As an only child and the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family, I have grown accustomed to being alone. Up until recently, I thought I enjoyed living in solace. I purposefully alienated myself so that I didn't have to thank anyone for being there for me. I thought it a sign of weakness to call upon people even at my lowest points. God forbid if and when I did ask that no one was available or able to step in; I would somehow take this as a form of rejection and retreat back into my hole.

I have trust issues plain and simple. I much rather people depend on me, but somehow I've made it impossible to depend on others. The more I open up to new experiences and new relationships the more I see the bubble I've lived in. I think it's time to burst my bubble.

If all goes well, my daughter will never know it's possible to live in a bubble. She'll only see the world with her in it.......

Freedom Friday: A Spiritual Community

I read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love about a month ago for the first time. My lovely, dear friend Mia recommended it after hearing yet another one of my stories ridden with pain and confusion. Beyond being a New York Time's Best Seller, it's an amazing Spiritual journey of an amazing woman who's life seemed to be falling apart before her very eyes.

The more I read, the more I learned about Liz, the more I related to her journey, the more I understood her path. Our lives share striking similarities: we are both born under the same sign, we share the same gift: Writing, we both got married young and we both seemed to be unfulfilled after making what we thought were the right decisions for our lives. We share in an Awakening. Even though my Spiritual journey has not taken me to Italy, India and Indonesia, it led me to the next best thing , her Book.

The part of the journey that resonated most with me is her time spent at an Ashram in India. Without giving too many details, there are several instances where she relied on the support of others when she became overwhelmed with distracting thoughts and emotions. She discovers discipline in meditation while alone, but she experiences a Divine revelation sharing in meditation with many.

A Spiritual Community is what I'm missing. My Spirit screams to be amongst people who long for an intimate relationship with God, a place where all beliefs are respected in the interest of Unity, an acknowledgement that Divinity is only acheived when we recognize that God lives within us and that our gifts, talents and Divine capabilities are apart of His earthly muse.

Ironically enough, while listening to Unity radio, I stumbled upon an interview with Elizabeth Gilbert. In between questioning, I heard an advertisement that led me to such a Community. What we find along the way may come in different forms, but it all leads us to the same place....

Appreciating every step that lands me here....

My Prayer Community led me to my Spiritual Community.....

Thank you all.......

Let's Get Uncomfortable

My uncle and I shared in an amazing exchange the other day. I haven't been able to stop thinking about the carefulness of his words and the delicacy of his questions; Yet, they were Thunderous in their Intent and Lightning in the unveiling of Truth. The Truth about Marriage, Family and Love. In the moment, I didn't realize that this duality gave the me courage to share, but also made me uncomfortable enough to stay the course in the name of my commitment. After we hung up, I jumped in a pool of Patience.......a lake of Love.......a river of Reflection.....in an ocean of Offering.

I see now that I've been too comfortable for too long. I understand that I shield my heart from Love because I am afraid to feel the pain. I'm clear on the fact that I have been selfish, even in giving, because I gave in lieu of completely giving my heart. I was so obsessed with getting it right ; I lost sight of what Commitment requires. It requires Discomfort.

Commitment is a testament to our character. In it, we find out what we're made of, what stirs our Souls, we experience Life more abundantly, we even end up alone in a dark closet to drown in our own tears, we give of ourselves freely in the interest of maintaining something greater than ourselves. We do it not to have it done for us. We do it in the name of Love, God's Love (although, we may not even be cognizant of it).

Only on the roughest terrain and in the stoniest places can we experience the Joy of Spiritual Truth. Our Creator has given us a myriad of things to take refuge in. He knew that there will come a time where we needed words of comfort because we were uncomfortable. He knew that we would encounter obstacles, we would create our own mess, and others would bring chaos into our lives. We can't run away. We must stay and live to fight another day.

For the storms surely do pass and the sun most certainly will shine brighter than before.

I'll close with one of my personal favorites, my poem:

Ripples in the Rain

Have you ever watched ripples in the rain?

The energy spreads and disappears never
Leaving a stain, yet they trace the tears and
Fears of yesterday’s pain. Wearing away at the
Sounds of even Billie Holiday’s blues. Dispensing
from clouds of darkness, filling the deepest of
pools, remnants that always seem to
overflow in tomorrow’s news.

Have you ever watched ripples in the rain?

In all of its molecules it takes form in many drops
With it may come thunder that stirs and stops
Yet, they are powerful enough to make fools out of
Me and you or bring life to what was once doomed.
Nature in all its duty reflects a path of life in which
We must all choose.

Have you ever watched ripples in the rain?

Or listened to the rhythm that beats on the pave
Singing tunes of a heart that’s been abused, used
And now is enraged. Longing to be left out to dry, but
Can’t seem to escape it’s tendency to be shy. Now it’s
You time to stand up and proclaim
“I wanna go outside in the rain!”

When I watch ripples in the rain…..I feel a Spirit that
Has come to restore, a day of peace before the sun
Shines brighter than before….The creation of condensation
That once clouded my view, but now I can see beyond
The heaviest of dew. A liquid that washes away at the
The Earthly strains that get in the way of me living
Life more abundantly and keeps me saying

Have you ever watched ripples in the rain?

Hear as If Unable to See

On yesterday, like many people, I spent much of the afternoon watching Michael Jackson's Memorial. Musically, the most compelling performance was Stevie Wonder's "I'd Never Dream You'd Leave In Summer" and "They Won't Go When You Go." His performance left me overwhelmed with emotion and as I struggled to watch the rest of the service through my swollen, teary eyes I knew that the world is a better place because of the Michael Jacksons.....the Ghandis....the MLKings......the Princess Dianas.....the Mother Theresas.....

The most compelling ephiphany had during Stevie Wonder's performance is that his Musical Ear has transcended his ability to see. His body of work as a songwriter, composer and vocalist convinces you that he isn't void of sight. He has always been able to see; for he sees through his Heart.

I can't help but ponder over how much we take for granted, those of us with all five senses. How we are so easily misled by media images, critics and negative people who are incapable of seeing beyond their jaded misconceptions. When we are unable to see and only hear, we take more from the message, the instructions, the song. If we can only close our eyes and open our hearts to simply listen.

Ironically enough, Stevie had the "most personal-feeling tribute" and he had never seen Michael Jackson's face, witnessed his transformation or followed the Wacko Jacko coverage of mainstream media. Yet, he heard his voice, listened to his music, and opened his Heart to his legacy.

Are we listening? Have we heard? Do we see with our ears or do we only hear with our eyes?

Are we heartless? Have we loved? Do we feel with our hands or do we boldly touch with our hearts?

The choice is ours.....

Celebration of Life

It's my birthday! I have designated today to enjoy the simple things: the human touch, park walks with my family, overcast skies, the smell of rain, cupcakes and a tall glass of milk. For most, today is just another day, but I'm overjoyed that this one day out of the whole year ignites an inner reflection of the many self discoveries I've made in the last year.

India Arie's song "Private Party" is befitting for the occasion: "I'm having a Private Party..... Learning how to Love me .......Celebrating the woman I've become." We all reach a point in life where we don't need the big, lavish celebratory experiences to feel loved. Somehow we come to realize that the most special moments are spent with your inner circle sharing the most intimate moments. To be surrounded by Love and well wishes by the few people you have come to know as your boldest cheerleaders is enough for me.

I wouldn't have it any other way....

Happy Birthday to me.......

Fragile Minds

I have decided to use my troubles as a catalyst for strengthening my mind. Often times, I find myself narrating storylines in my head to protect myself from the Truth. I never reach the bottomline because I can't get past what I thought life would be and what it has become.

"Life is what happens while we plan for it" has never meant more to me than it does today. Why do we plan for life? Haven't we been taught to have plans A,B,C,D and E just in case? Are there some areas in life you plan for and others you don't? What's the secret formula? So many questions....only one answer. Learn and forget.

The more I learn, the harder it is to implement theory in real life situations; Likewise, real life situations make it difficult to adhere to theory. Honestly, the most peace I've found in sorting out my confusion is Silence. When I quiet the voices in my mind, I begin to see where the conflict began. It has nothing to do with what's going on around me and everything to do with what's going on inside of me.

In light of the latest tragedy of Steve McNair and his girlfriend, Sahel Kazemi, I am reminded of just how fragile the mind can be. Our minds can become fixated on what we want that it's impossible to acknowledge what we need. It's as if there is only one solution to our temporary problem. Too often, the solution can be fatally permanent.

The strength of the mind can be liberating and captivating. It's up to us to decide its fate.

I choose Liberation......

Freedom Fridays

In obeservation of Independence Day and my first full week of blogging, every Friday will be Freedom Friday. A day when and a space where we can free our thoughts, emotions and laughter held captive all day, all week, all year in the name of Healing.

Let's get the ball rolling, this week, I have been on an emotional roller coaster of heartache. From one day to the next, I feel a myriad of emotions....Forgiveness, Unconditional Love, Hatred and Resentment. When I feel the latter, I instantly become overwhelmed with selfishness and self pity. I have always held myself in the highest esteem and treated myself as an exception to most people's rules. Although, this can be healthy in personal growth; it can be suicide in Spiritual growth.

When I fell self absorbed, I have made it a practice to begin a breathing exercise, centering Meditation and my Acceptance prayer. It's amazing how fast my self absorption fades away giving life to something greater than myself....Love.

In the event we lose track of Love, be sure self absorption is not too far behind. I have to admit I enjoy living in my head. It's very easy to maintain emotional intelligence when I don't have the capacity to give outside influences the energy they so desperately seek. It's not until this outside influence is your better half and you can't imagine being whole without Him, do you realize that you weren't as emotionally intelligent as you thought. Not as Spiritually grounded as before? Yet, you are, but you have to capitilize off of your moment to prove it to yourself.

In short, our lives are filled with highs and lows, successes and failures, fairytales and tragedies. Through it all, it comes down to making the most of these moments until we no longer experience extremes we live in duality.

What Freedom......

Discovering My Voice in Love

This year has been a year of Revelations. I have learned more about myself in the last six months than I have in the last twenty six years. One of the many things I've learned is that I am uncomfortable in the space of Love. Oh how this realization hit me like a europlanet traveling at the speed of Light through a million Light years!

I must give you a little insight into how earth shattering (figuratively) this is for me: I am an emotional creature, born under a Water sign, relationship oriented and I surrender my mind, body and Spirit to Love hoping that it will all be worth it or at least this is what I'd like to believe.

In reality, I take calculated risks in matters of the heart and I practice the art of 'out of sight out of mind' in the interest of preserving my dignity, ego and pride. I seize opportunities to act out various dramas to test Love's waters to determine just how much I have at stake. I must always be in control, at least in my mind, until the tables turn.

Alas, they turn, just when you're ready to stop hiding behind your love mask in the interest of truly giving your best. I face the harsh reality that Love and Logic are not related and no matter how hard I try to ensure my heart is not broken; Love proves yet again that I never had control to begin with. Why do I feel I have to protect myself from Love's boogey man? When did I begin to feel I am an exception to Love's tragedy? Why is my strength often perceived as cocky? In the midst of all of the deterrants and distractions, where did the Love go?

I became so consumed with fighting the battle of Love; I lost the War. Damn you, Pride, for always intervening in my best attempt to Love with a pure heart. The truth of the matter is the habits we develop in Earthly Love can seep into our efforts of Spiritual Love and vice versa. It is in our best interest to genuinely lay everything on the line so that our love translates amongst various tongues, tribes and times. It must be worthy to be Written.....It must be deemed Classic.....It must be utterly Universal......

I feel it's about time that all is fair in Love's War.......

I will lay down my weapons...

Raise my hands high

For "I surrender to Love......."

His Love was given first...Your Love is His reflection....Our Love transcends the Material.....Love still remains.

Great Expectations: Man in the Mirror

In the name of abandoning all Expectations, I have snuggled, cuddled and found a euphoric nook with my Standards.

As I lie here, in the purest intimacy, I've never felt so content with the unknown variables that are my future. I realize that setting high standards for myself has nothing to do with my Expectations and everything to do with my Self Awareness. We tend to believe that Standards and Expectations go hand in hand; yet, they are much like Oil and Water.

Let's explore this for a moment. When the closest, dearest people to our hearts disappoint us, we tend to feel consumed with questions like "How could he do this?" "He couldn't care about me?" "How can I call him a friend after this?" "How would he feel if I did the same to him? "After a tiresome effort of analyzing their actions, we begin to pass judgement on the person or have a person outside of the situation attempt to answer our questions. Once we build up the courage, we may even confront the person we feel betrayed by.

Imagine this scenario if we were to allow our disappointments to renew our commitment to our Standards rather than impose our unrealistic Expectations on people that are merely Beautifully Human. As with any commitment, there is an element of personal growth that can not be ignored. Instead of buying into the misconception that you were failed by this person embrace the moment to welcome the idea that our level of success (in building healthy relationships) is directly proportionate to how many times we take the risk to fail.

Failure is what you make it. If we allow it to help us see beyond our selfish desires, we will be amazed at how our Standards begin to replace others' Expectations as their Expectations are replaced by our Standards.

Join me in starting with the Man in the Mirror.....

As we share in the Great Exchange......