Love is like an hourglass, with the heart being filled as the brain is emptied-Jules Renard
Jules Renard, an 18th century wordsmith, captures my discovery of love best with this quote. I am no expert on finding love, but my experiences may qualify me to share a thing or two on matters of the heart.
From the moment we are born, women are conditioned to believe that we will be swept away by our "knight in shining armor;" and, together we will live "happily ever after". After my first real date in college, I realized that my "knight in shining armor" was a bit nervous and socially awkward. He forgets to pull out the chair at dinner, doesn't have much conversation unless I'm asking the questions and seems to be daydreaming about whether or not he will get a goodnight kiss. At different points in our lives, we realize that "love" may mean different things to different people. For me, two hearts coming together in Love should be exciting, euphoric, romanitc and most importantly an opportunity to grow together in ectasy.
After a few disappointments in dating, I decided it was time to take a little self inventory. I discovered that my heart and mind were in conflict over what the act of "love" means. My mind says that a man should only court me with the intentions of getting married. But, our courtship allotted him just enough time to prove whether he's the "best" man for the job. If he doesn't prove worthy enough; I shall move on to the next potential suitor. How selfish the mind can be?
However, my heart knew better. It knows that love is best experienced when two people are fulfilled; not limited by responsibility, flowers, candle lit dinners and exotic trips to show their love. All of these things can be flattering; however, they mostly appeal to ego and pride rather than the heart. I feel the most loved when my lover tells me the truth I need to hear, makes me laugh on those days when I can hardly break a smile and celebrates my "flaws" because they have and continue to make our love stronger. In short, the love I deserve can not be expressed with temporal, feeting forms of affection because the love I give is worth much more than the treausures found in my jewelry box.
It's the "branding" of love that makes us feel lonely and unwanted as we sit on the couch watching "The Way We Were" drowning in our own tears.The more we fall out of love with "love" and fall in love with ourselves, we begin to see that love has been there all along: uplifitng, nurturing, strengthening, inspiring and preparing us for its reflection in another. Love is not necessarily found; It graciously becomes clearer over time.
Unconditional in acceptance and admiration.....
Love is Everywhere, Love is Nowhere, Love is You....
....with Me....
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