Mystery: From Lightness to Darkness

I'm thinking of one of my favorite lines from one of my dearest poems: "You're the unknown variable X and I'm searching for the reason Y the meeting of our eyes leaves me longing for my next high." There's an excitement, yet fear you feel when you're not sure of the holdings of Tomorrow. We would be comfortable if we had just enough light to see a glimpse of what lies ahead, but we dare not cheat ourselves of life's pleasant surprises.

In that dark space, we sometimes lose ourselves in addition to losing our way. We travel so deep into the wilderness that we are willing to do anything to accomplish or attain our now frantic desires. This is a familiar space for us all and these times are what gives our lives character. How do we know how far we've come if there was no place to ascend from?

When I think of Ted Kennedy's legacy and the dark days of his life, I know that he is a man, a Husband, a Father, a Brother, a Son, a Senator, an Activist, a Legend. Even when the light no longer shines, he will always be Ted Kennedy. Even when his adversaries criticize him for the scandals, the rumors, the family "curse", the cloud of death that surrounded him, he will remain in the fabric of America and its history.

It is my only hope that we see the irony in how our darkest days birth our brightest hours. There are certain truths that we can not escape and these are what I have come to cherish about the resolve of the human Spirit. We shall not tolerate darkness for too long, nor will we tolerate a violation of Civil Rights for too long, nor will we tolerate gender inferiority for too long, nor will we tolerate our voices not being heard for too long, nor will we tolerate the lack of quality healthcare for every American for too long. And when we have had enough, may we remember the unwavering, unmovable Spirit of the late Ted Kennedy.

As we travel through the mysteries of Lightness and Darkness.....

May you rest well and know that your legacy lives today, tomorrow, always.....

Will ours?

Bigger than Myself?

After many sleepless nights and feeling an indescribable sensation tugging at my Soul, I realize that I need to be apart of a Movement. I want to work with a group of like minded individuals in pursuit of a greater cause....an even Grander existence. As much joy as my daughter gives me, I know that I am not half the Mother I aim to be...... that I will be..... once I come to live my Divine purpose. This is a process I know, but I am overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities this discovery will bring.

Actually, my daughter is the source of my motivation. From my journey, I hope she learns that all things are possible, to never be afraid of Self Discovery and always stay true to her inner voice. As cliche as my wishes are for my daughter, these are the greatest challenges of our lives. It's difficult to put in practice, but once developed Life takes on a new meaning. You begin to see things through a new set of eyes. Herein lies the power of positioning oneself to give an exclusive contribution to the World.

As an only child and the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family, I have grown accustomed to being alone. Up until recently, I thought I enjoyed living in solace. I purposefully alienated myself so that I didn't have to thank anyone for being there for me. I thought it a sign of weakness to call upon people even at my lowest points. God forbid if and when I did ask that no one was available or able to step in; I would somehow take this as a form of rejection and retreat back into my hole.

I have trust issues plain and simple. I much rather people depend on me, but somehow I've made it impossible to depend on others. The more I open up to new experiences and new relationships the more I see the bubble I've lived in. I think it's time to burst my bubble.

If all goes well, my daughter will never know it's possible to live in a bubble. She'll only see the world with her in it.......