After many sleepless nights and feeling an indescribable sensation tugging at my Soul, I realize that I need to be apart of a Movement. I want to work with a group of like minded individuals in pursuit of a greater cause....an even Grander existence. As much joy as my daughter gives me, I know that I am not half the Mother I aim to be...... that I will be..... once I come to live my Divine purpose. This is a process I know, but I am overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities this discovery will bring.
Actually, my daughter is the source of my motivation. From my journey, I hope she learns that all things are possible, to never be afraid of Self Discovery and always stay true to her inner voice. As cliche as my wishes are for my daughter, these are the greatest challenges of our lives. It's difficult to put in practice, but once developed Life takes on a new meaning. You begin to see things through a new set of eyes. Herein lies the power of positioning oneself to give an exclusive contribution to the World.
As an only child and the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family, I have grown accustomed to being alone. Up until recently, I thought I enjoyed living in solace. I purposefully alienated myself so that I didn't have to thank anyone for being there for me. I thought it a sign of weakness to call upon people even at my lowest points. God forbid if and when I did ask that no one was available or able to step in; I would somehow take this as a form of rejection and retreat back into my hole.
I have trust issues plain and simple. I much rather people depend on me, but somehow I've made it impossible to depend on others. The more I open up to new experiences and new relationships the more I see the bubble I've lived in. I think it's time to burst my bubble.
If all goes well, my daughter will never know it's possible to live in a bubble. She'll only see the world with her in it.......
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