Freedom Friday: Sunday Spent on the Lake

Last Sunday, the family and I spent the day on Lake Alatoona at Red Top Mountain State Park outside of Atlanta, GA.

It's been almost five years since I've been on the lake. My husband, a Boston native, misses everything about the Lake: Water sports, fresh fish and beautiful lakehouses. Needless to say, we all needed this adventure. My 20 month old, Saadia was amazingly well behaved and cried only once in the seven hours we spent on the boat. We spent the afternoon swimming, tubing, wakeboarding and sightseeing. It was absoulutely beautiful!

Five years ago, I had absolutely no appreciation for water sports, and I would have been content with crusing and taking in the scenery. With rain pouring down on us, we pushed the boat to its speed limit just to have the wind be kind to us. Sport Boating, what fun?!

While tubing, I watched the clouds move and the sun peeked through the darkness to smile down on us. Giving us a second run at our water adventure after four hours of non stop activity. We couldn't get enough, we didn't have enough, we needed more. Repitition, how childlike?!

It's funny how at different points in your life, your perspective of what "fun" and "exciting" is begins to shift. The experiences we take for granted when the World is our "playground." I have to say, we made the best of it; Mother Nature would be proud.

At the end of our trip, I cried tears of Joy for quality time with family and having the chance to spend the day on the Lake.

Here's to broadening my horizons.......and.....

Spending the rest of the summer......

Doing things I've never done before......with.....

Eyes that's never seen before.......

That's Freedom.....

Bigger than Myself?

After many sleepless nights and feeling an indescribable sensation tugging at my Soul, I realize that I need to be apart of a Movement. I want to work with a group of like minded individuals in pursuit of a greater cause....an even Grander existence. As much joy as my daughter gives me, I know that I am not half the Mother I aim to be...... that I will be..... once I come to live my Divine purpose. This is a process I know, but I am overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities this discovery will bring.

Actually, my daughter is the source of my motivation. From my journey, I hope she learns that all things are possible, to never be afraid of Self Discovery and always stay true to her inner voice. As cliche as my wishes are for my daughter, these are the greatest challenges of our lives. It's difficult to put in practice, but once developed Life takes on a new meaning. You begin to see things through a new set of eyes. Herein lies the power of positioning oneself to give an exclusive contribution to the World.

As an only child and the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family, I have grown accustomed to being alone. Up until recently, I thought I enjoyed living in solace. I purposefully alienated myself so that I didn't have to thank anyone for being there for me. I thought it a sign of weakness to call upon people even at my lowest points. God forbid if and when I did ask that no one was available or able to step in; I would somehow take this as a form of rejection and retreat back into my hole.

I have trust issues plain and simple. I much rather people depend on me, but somehow I've made it impossible to depend on others. The more I open up to new experiences and new relationships the more I see the bubble I've lived in. I think it's time to burst my bubble.

If all goes well, my daughter will never know it's possible to live in a bubble. She'll only see the world with her in it.......

Let's Get Uncomfortable

My uncle and I shared in an amazing exchange the other day. I haven't been able to stop thinking about the carefulness of his words and the delicacy of his questions; Yet, they were Thunderous in their Intent and Lightning in the unveiling of Truth. The Truth about Marriage, Family and Love. In the moment, I didn't realize that this duality gave the me courage to share, but also made me uncomfortable enough to stay the course in the name of my commitment. After we hung up, I jumped in a pool of Patience.......a lake of Love.......a river of Reflection.....in an ocean of Offering.

I see now that I've been too comfortable for too long. I understand that I shield my heart from Love because I am afraid to feel the pain. I'm clear on the fact that I have been selfish, even in giving, because I gave in lieu of completely giving my heart. I was so obsessed with getting it right ; I lost sight of what Commitment requires. It requires Discomfort.

Commitment is a testament to our character. In it, we find out what we're made of, what stirs our Souls, we experience Life more abundantly, we even end up alone in a dark closet to drown in our own tears, we give of ourselves freely in the interest of maintaining something greater than ourselves. We do it not to have it done for us. We do it in the name of Love, God's Love (although, we may not even be cognizant of it).

Only on the roughest terrain and in the stoniest places can we experience the Joy of Spiritual Truth. Our Creator has given us a myriad of things to take refuge in. He knew that there will come a time where we needed words of comfort because we were uncomfortable. He knew that we would encounter obstacles, we would create our own mess, and others would bring chaos into our lives. We can't run away. We must stay and live to fight another day.

For the storms surely do pass and the sun most certainly will shine brighter than before.

I'll close with one of my personal favorites, my poem:

Ripples in the Rain

Have you ever watched ripples in the rain?

The energy spreads and disappears never
Leaving a stain, yet they trace the tears and
Fears of yesterday’s pain. Wearing away at the
Sounds of even Billie Holiday’s blues. Dispensing
from clouds of darkness, filling the deepest of
pools, remnants that always seem to
overflow in tomorrow’s news.

Have you ever watched ripples in the rain?

In all of its molecules it takes form in many drops
With it may come thunder that stirs and stops
Yet, they are powerful enough to make fools out of
Me and you or bring life to what was once doomed.
Nature in all its duty reflects a path of life in which
We must all choose.

Have you ever watched ripples in the rain?

Or listened to the rhythm that beats on the pave
Singing tunes of a heart that’s been abused, used
And now is enraged. Longing to be left out to dry, but
Can’t seem to escape it’s tendency to be shy. Now it’s
You time to stand up and proclaim
“I wanna go outside in the rain!”

When I watch ripples in the rain…..I feel a Spirit that
Has come to restore, a day of peace before the sun
Shines brighter than before….The creation of condensation
That once clouded my view, but now I can see beyond
The heaviest of dew. A liquid that washes away at the
The Earthly strains that get in the way of me living
Life more abundantly and keeps me saying

Have you ever watched ripples in the rain?