This year has been a year of Revelations. I have learned more about myself in the last six months than I have in the last twenty six years. One of the many things I've learned is that I am uncomfortable in the space of Love. Oh how this realization hit me like a europlanet traveling at the speed of Light through a million Light years!
I must give you a little insight into how earth shattering (figuratively) this is for me: I am an emotional creature, born under a Water sign, relationship oriented and I surrender my mind, body and Spirit to Love hoping that it will all be worth it or at least this is what I'd like to believe.
In reality, I take calculated risks in matters of the heart and I practice the art of 'out of sight out of mind' in the interest of preserving my dignity, ego and pride. I seize opportunities to act out various dramas to test Love's waters to determine just how much I have at stake. I must always be in control, at least in my mind, until the tables turn.
Alas, they turn, just when you're ready to stop hiding behind your love mask in the interest of truly giving your best. I face the harsh reality that Love and Logic are not related and no matter how hard I try to ensure my heart is not broken; Love proves yet again that I never had control to begin with. Why do I feel I have to protect myself from Love's boogey man? When did I begin to feel I am an exception to Love's tragedy? Why is my strength often perceived as cocky? In the midst of all of the deterrants and distractions, where did the Love go?
I became so consumed with fighting the battle of Love; I lost the War. Damn you, Pride, for always intervening in my best attempt to Love with a pure heart. The truth of the matter is the habits we develop in Earthly Love can seep into our efforts of Spiritual Love and vice versa. It is in our best interest to genuinely lay everything on the line so that our love translates amongst various tongues, tribes and times. It must be worthy to be Written.....It must be deemed Classic.....It must be utterly Universal......
I feel it's about time that all is fair in Love's War.......
I will lay down my weapons...
Raise my hands high
For "I surrender to Love......."
His Love was given first...Your Love is His reflection....Our Love transcends the Material.....Love still remains.
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